Relaxed and Rejuvenated

I am back from my vacation/bachelor's party (for a friend) and all pumped up for 2012.

The high points of the vacation were,

1. Arambol beach, it felt divine to be on this beach. With less than hundred people around, a really affordable shack, fantastic weather and cool fireworks it was THE MOMENT of the whole vacation.

2. I read the book The sense of an Ending on my way back to Delhi. I do read books for leisure and recreation from time to time but I can easily say this is the best book I have ever read. If Da Vinci Code was like 12 hour long s*x romp of thrills and mystery then this book was like 5 hour long foreplay of life and feelings, tingling and memory worthy page after page.

3. Experiencing Lust, betrayal, Gerascophobia and Peace. (in that order and each catalyzed by a distinct person, I know it sounds cliched)

4. Fastest kiss of my life ( <20 minutes into the meeting), though it might not have been won absolutely fairly.

The vacation was very different than what I had anticipated or hoped for and I liked the version that happened to me much better. These five days helped me realize so much more about life and for a change it came through external sources. Usually I introspect and live my life based on what I learn from the introspection and don't really care much for the world around me, of course it is way too self-centered but then that is how I am, I call it Individualism.

2011 had made me realize I was doing just fine (maybe even great) being single, I think life is simpler when I am single. I get to make all the decisions based on what I want and how I feel in that moment of time, neither am I dependent on anybody nor do I have to think of dependence of others on me and I like both those aspects individually as well as a combo. It is also not just about freedom, the very technology I develop (Mobile Phone) should definitely get some of the blame for making me averse to all this relationship business, the concept of constantly being-in-touch over text messages and Skype irritates me and for sure I cannot do that anymore. However I have realized or been made to realize I will be very very alone soon enough and at the same time I am also not ready to give up my well cultivated go-solo attitude. The conclusion of realization being that friends will neither be there nor be enough forever, so the only unanswered question as of now is "WHEN and with WHOM?".

Enough about companionship, the five days also proved to me trust and leverage are as fickle as an infant child. The best of your friends will betray you and the worst of the strangers will surprise you with kind acts and that is life so no point complaining about the bad, take each day as it comes and try to be as happy as possible for the good. It is really stupid to give up on somebody for one bad mistake when you have been with them for years treading life in a "happily ever after" mode and no I am not talking about an ex-girlfriend. Sometimes it is better to loose a battle to win the war.

I expect this vacation experience will alter my way of life in a significant and important manner and it all started with one simple question from my friend on the eve of my birthday,the question was something like "What were my biggest moments between 8th Jan 2011 and 8th Jan 2012". After answering the question I realized the moments that had mattered (since they came first to thought and recollection process) had nothing to do with my biggest achievements (in the traditional sense of the meaning of the word achievement) of the year, instead it had everything to do with the smallest of experiences and most innate of feelings. To be perfectly honest I completely surprised my own self with those answers and I am sure I was not even drunk by then ;), FYI in my day to day life all I talk about is technology, ambition, money and of course pretty girls.

A picture of me and my friends from the beach,




Work oh work I am back to embrace you for the rest of the year.

Ciao

2012 starts with GOA

I must confess 2011 was a better year than what I had expected it to be, though I had very moderate expectations to begin with. It was not one of my best years but for sure it could have been worse. Career wise I made a few ripples, got to work on a couple of exciting projects. Personal life wise I am where I was at the end of 2010 i.e. nowhere, but that is absolutely fine with me for now. Home and family wise everything is calm and peaceful, all in all I would label 2011 as my best year in the last three years. Thank you god for this breather after 2009 and 2010.

A couple of my friends asked me about my new year resolution and after some thought I could only come up with the most obvious one, getting back to where I belong in my career (as of now I am a few thousand miles away :D ).

As a custom I have stayed indoors for the night of 31st Dec three years in a row now and 2012 was started the same way. Nevertheless January has to be made happening and so tonight I am heading to Goa for five days of vacation :) .

May 2012 be the year where the world finally starts to move towards peace and prosperity.

Ciao

Most important PNG of my life

The first time I saw this diagram was almost three years back and still to this day each time I look at it I find it interesting and fascinating. In the last three years this picture has taught me more than a few things related to my academic and professional life. Unexpectedly it has also solved some of my moral and personal dilemmas at times, which I feel is a equally important contribution if not more important than the academic knowledge it has imparted to me.

This picture has provided me more clarity about systems in general than any other book has managed to in several readings. The picture is so clear in what it is trying to say, precise and so neatly and lovingly drawn, by lovingly I mean the person/people behind this diagram must really know and love Linux and Computer systems inside out. If only half the books out there were half as good as this diagram we would have more real and interested "Computer Science" engineers and scientists.

Someday I intend to get it framed and hang it somewhere in my home or office.

Ciao

Copyright Disclaimer: All images are owned by their respective copyright owners.

Lost

I am so damn lost in life that I was reading tweets from Neha Dhupia, shame on me. :(

Ciao

Liar Liar

I hate to realize that people are lying to me, and since people wont stop lying I need to isolate myself from the realization phenomena.

English Hons, anybody?

I am looking for a English or any other Language student/scholar to critique some of my writing assignments. Anybody want to help me?

I can pay in cash or kind if you are good at it. E-mail me at mishra.shantanu1 at the rate gnail dot com if interested.

Ciao

It's time ....

It will be two years in March since I joined my current company. I gave up on a lot of materialistic things, friends and a part of my heart (the part which wanted to avoid all the changes) to get to this job. Somewhere during my Master's degree program I started to love registers, memory and CPU way too much and this love was my sole motivation to take up a job in the field of mobile devices.

Alright on paper I got my dream job, I work with the Camera firmware team for the company's hottest and most important platform. But like most marriages the honeymoon ended in the first two months and by the end of third I was having thoughts of switching jobs. But then I decided to change things around me, try to make it more logical from a scientific and engineering perspective. I discussed issues with my team leader and to a great extent he agreed on my inputs about improving processes and regaining some control over the getting out of hand situations. Anyways after this trying phase of six months I realized corporations are a big machine in themselves, one faulty part leads to a drastic decrease of efficiency in the whole setup and having multiple inefficient parts is a definite disaster. So despite my resolute to do things the logical and stable way I was soon lost in a world of incompetence and technical disgrace. To this day I fight for the right principles and methodologies at work but deep down in my heart I know I am fighting a lost battle, in the end it is only going to hurt me. And more often than not it does.

In all these years what I have learnt about this industry is that genuine science and engineering really don't have a place here, they are just mere side props which big corporations use to play bigger games, the biggest game being "making money". I have worked personally with three of the five biggest (by volume) smartphone companies and all three have had the same ugly practices. Utter disrespect for any and every engineering principle, lazy and selfish employees, deceit to their customers and making money being the sole motivation. I am not against making money but I am definitely against uncontrolled greed for money. If I have to work like an greedy idiot then I may as well work for a bank, at least my paycheck would be fatter.

THE BAD NEWS is I have given up trying to make things better at work, in my current setup I think it is not a gamble I would like to play, I have been trying for the last 1.5 years and things have only got worse so it's time that I try something else. Maybe I am not so good at it or maybe it is not possible for one small guy to change hundred other people around him in a corporate setup.

THE GOOD NEWS is I have decided once and for all to get out of this waste of life lifestyle and pursue science for the rest of my life. Hopefully in the next six-eight months I would be able to realize this dream and feel better about me and my future.

Ciao