Loss

P.S. This is from Shekhar Kapur's Blog and i am just copy-pasting it here.

Loss

In Love

I thought I lost you
because you were you
but now I know
I lost you
because I was I

Coder ke kalam se ;)

This is what the popular song said:

Maikhane se sharaab se saaki se jaam se
Apni to zindagi shuru hoti hai shaam se

Aa mera haath thaam bahot ho gaya nasha
Yaaron ne pilaadi bahot tere naam se

Rakhte hain paak dil ko niyat aur nigaah ko
Pite hain hum sharaab bahot ehtraam se

Mehkash ki har khushi to hoti hai sharaab se
Milti hai zindagi use har ek jaam se.


Let me take the topic from liquor to source code and programmers


Make se, Editor se, Team Lead se Keyboard se
Apni to zindagi shuru hoti hai Design Meeting se

Aa mera code debug kar bahot ho gaye loop
Manager ne confuse kar diya Code Ethics ke naam se

Rakhte hai paak comments ko documentation aur weekly reports ko
Bug Fix karte hain hum har ek code freeze ke baad.

Coder ki har khushi to hoti hai frrrrriiiiiiddddaaayyyyyyyyyy se
Milti hai zindagi use har ek weekend se



Aadaab.

Finally my Lucknow nawabi genes kicking In ...


Ciao

Everything

each song i listen to on my Ipod
each line of code i write
each $ i spend
each shirt i wear
each friend i dont see anymore except for orkut
each new city i go to
each beer i drink
each movie i see

SIX FEET UNDER

If you have not seen SIX FEET UNDER yet then you are missing life. Its the most amazing show i have ever seen in my life. Probably its wrong to call it a show, there should be some new term coined for it. Let me mention some good things about it

1.Unique concept
2.Amazing actors
3.Relates to life very honestly
4.Weird
5.Offensive
and so on.

I accidentally bought the DVDs to first season and then guess what, i bought the DVDs for the rest of the four seasons as well. I shall recommend it to every adult i meet and know.

Ciao

"Hamein har saal ek hafte ke liye Goa aana chahiye!"

For the last two months I have been in California pursuing an internship. When i used to walk alone in -20 degree C to my class in the month of February in Syracuse i used to think "Boy soon this time shall pass and you will be on the beaches of California". Well that dream did come true but the joy and pleasure i was expecting did not come along.

California beaches are so dull and boring, indeed they are beautiful naturally but i don't need sea calm and peace every day, sometimes I need more fun in my life. I must have seen like 10 different beaches along the coast of California from SFO in north to SD in south. Not one of them gave me anything close to the pleasure i had when i was walking towards Baga beach in goa on a January night in Spring of 06. The sight was just plainly majestic. Just the right number of people, just the right wind, just the perfect calm night and to top it all awesome food and drinks right on the beach.

Beaches in America don't have any fanfare and frills that Indian beaches have. You just have to sit there and watch the ocean waves coming to you and dying midway in the process. Somewhere you might see a hot babe enjoying the sun in her skimpy clothing but so what, you get to see that while walking on the road everyday.
California is plain boring when i remember that night in Goa. Of course back then i had the company of the best friends i had and probably will ever have in my life. That was one perfect week i spent in my whole life. I wish California becomes just 20% of that week and i shall consider myself to be in heaven.
Maybe i feel so coz i dont have much company here but whatever,truth is I am not enjoying life despite having the money and the time to enjoy.

Any interesting person from Cali reading this, take me out for a good fun day and i shall bear the expenses.

Ciao

Klueless 3 is finally done !!

For three years in a row i have been doing this and i just want it to go on and on on..

I am addicted to it. Although was not in complete agreement with the 'hints' of some levels but what the heck, now i am through them anyways.

To continue with the bragging here is the hall of fame pic ...:D



Ciao

Five Professions I Woo

Assassin

Bartender

Soccer Player

Cook

Historian

Oldest

Oldest DISPUTE

Israel vs Palestine --2000 years and people in the area still not tired of fighting.

MY Oldest DREAM

To watch Wimbledon Final the center court.

Oldest COMPUTER GAME

SpaceWar -- Even the game had to be about a war.

This world is a fucked up place !!! part 2

China

Discipline Irony--Beating their 5 year old children with canes for coming late to school and selling weapons to Taliban and pirated software to the rest of the world.

Japan

Workplace is a posh 100 floor building whereas bedroom has 6 feet x 5 feet dimensions.

USA

The poor are obese and eat in a day more than they can lift at once whereas the rich are starving to death to keep their body slim.

This world is a fucked up place !!!

Apart from my personal issues here are some convincing reasons to believe in the title,

Afghanistan
The bad news is, there’s a new article about everyone farming opium.
The good news is, you can’t read.

Angola
Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.

Brazil
Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants.

India
A nation so richly diverse, you can walk into a single neighborhood and find cholera, dengue fever, malaria, typhoid, and plague.

Bored

I am BORED ...
need something to do ...

Today night i

Somethings

Some feelings are never expressed,
Some joys never shown,
Some sorrows are kept deep within,

Some achievements are only to prove to yourself,
Some losses are just to be yours,
Some proofs defy every law of this world and yet appeal to you,

Some things are always better undone,
Some thoughts are only safe and pure when within,


Some things never show but that doesnt mean they dont exist ..................................

P.S. date and time of this post is relevant to the post.

Sotto Voce......: Watcha Waste!!!

Sotto Voce......: Watcha Waste!!!

How True ??

Charles Colton

"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them."

P

Passion, Power, Pleasure, Poise, Purpose, Pride, Pure, Pronounced, Prominent .....

Thats enough P's in justifying its worthiness as a good buy :) ...
Hence i have made a resolution that the next picture that comes to my orkut album is gonna be me sitting on this bike.

Oh yeah this is Yamaha R1 2007 model, 998 cc and 6 speed transmission ...The right mix of power and beauty ...

Good Luck to me

Shantanu

PHD

Well ever since i got into computer science i mean as science (somewhere in third year college) i have had this craving to get involved with active research in the field. I personally think that a lot of concepts from the subject come naturally to me. Well yeah i can say this after i have studied them from the books but i shall be honest and a lot of concepts from computer science come more naturally to me than many other courses like magnetic fields, electricity etc. etc. (strange coz my father is an electrical engineer and going by genes these should have come to me naturally). I do not want to brag but i feel these concepts come more naturally to me than a lot of my peers. Maybe Comp sc is more easier than its counterparts, easier or not I can certainly say its based on simpler logic and reasoning.

I think computer science is a derivative of Maths, well if you go back in history it surely is a child of maths (but with time it has certainly digressed from maths to a great extent). Being good at fundamental maths and calculus is another reason i think computer science seems more natural to me. Often this feeling of natural attachment to the subject has given me the feeling to pursue a PHD in the field. For I might be able to contribute something back to the field which has given me so much happiness and joy in life. (I wish i had had this blog when i wrote my first computer program(was in c++ of course) ).

When i was making applications for my M.S. the only interest i had in doing so was to prepare myself practically for the software industry and get myself a job with a major industrial power in the field. Back then i related PHD to nerds and to be honest i would have been rejected at almost all decent universities had i applied for a PHD instead of M.S. .But then in the past one year the "natural affection" has grown exponentially. I appreciate concepts much better than what i used to in college, I see the maths in action much more(maybe still not enough) and above all i love every bit of these discovering and learning things part. ( I wonder whats the origin of this "every ""bit"" " phrase)

Hmmmmm everything sounds good and nice till here. Inspite of all this i am still not able to decide wether i should make applications for a PHD program or not. To be honest for once in life i am afraid of making my decision. Thanks to my parents since very young i have made every decision of my life on my own but i am just not able to make up my mind on this one. Every 2-3 months this question comes to my mind and just to avoid answering it i stop thinking about it and try to make myself busy somewhere else. I know i cannot linger it forever and even if i do it can prove disastrous for me. Now that i am only six credits away from ending my grad school career i think i cannot linger the question anymore. For its not right and ethical to live your life on doubts and unanswered questions.

Very soon i shall be coming back to this blog with the answer to the question and a solution to all the hindrances.

Shantanu

Promise

Well today i made a promise to myself. I decided to buy myself a new beauty and i hope my girl friend wouldnt mind but this thing is really hot. To cut it short i am obsessed with Yamaha R1 and i have decided to buy it as soon as i can afford it and the next picture i put on my orkut account is gonna be me on that bike.

Some creative shots of the hottie

Ubuntu and Beryl-- Sweeter than i imagined

Well recently i finally decided to switch to Ubuntu as my "Navigator" in the ocean of my computing machines. Not that i had any issues with windows but i was certain of the fact that this way i shall learn more about operating systems and practical issues related to them. Windows always left me confused with the error and warning messages it gave but then the majority of Microsoft Windows's target audience is not a computer science graduate student so i agree with their dilemna.

And boy oh boy i am glad i made the switch UBUNTU is as fantastic as an operating system can get. It gives you all the choices to be as light you want to be on your overheads towards software or be stringent and finicky about your box. Package Managers are fantastic concepts and i love that about linux a lot. Also its like way too easy to google stuff about ubuntu with its own wiki system and the active community out there. I still am struggling with making some of my gadgets work flawlessly with UBUNTU but with each new gadget i learn like ten new things so i am not complaining about the overhead.

BERYL was a big motivation to switch. BERYL is as sweet as my girlfriend buying me a DUCATI for my 60th birthday. It works like a charm of course after u have learned how to tame the tiger and the taming does take some time with all the features and options it gives.

Here are some screenshots from my current desktop

The rain effect

The desktop cube


More Cubing



Desktop Snapshot kinda thing, all open applications being displayed


Thats the popular "BURN" animation ,happens with every minimize action.I love this one a lot.

BURN again


Fade Effect--happens with every close action..its like windows fade out of the view when i close them.

And if you see beryl videos you would be shell shokced with its powers. Its really a DUCATI(sweet and strong) for the desktop world.


CIAO

The Best Days of my Life

Nothing in my life seems to be going according to the PLAN. Long story told short nothing in my life is as i would like it to be right now. I am broke, do not have an internship, i am homesick, my results are not proportional to my efforts, and above all my health is deteriorating for the lack of good food and of course exercise.

And yet each morning (ok noon and sometimes evening) i wake up and i hope to make it better somehow. Each day i think of doing several things that could improve my life on some of these fronts. So i say to myself what else could i ask for from life. I am in the best spirits possible for a human being. Fight till your last breath for each day is a new battle, you shall loose some but if you fight hard enough you shall win too. Even if you dont win you shall always have the satisfaction of trying hard and to the best of your potential.

Hope to write some good news some time in the near future.

Happy and willing to be more happy ...

The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.

Another semester ended outta the four i ought to spend at Syracuse University. As much as i enjoyed(if u enjoy work and pain) living these 4 months but nevertheless it did not end without any regrets. To top it all i dint get the grades i desired nor did i get wat i deserved(in a relative sense). I am not sad because i dint get the grades, last time i got sad over that was 12th standard(a good 6 years back). I am sad because i got four semesters to prove to myself that i can be a good student(good=grades at least the world thinks so) and i already lost two of them loosing more time than the ground i made on the front. Secondly i ignored my health as much as i could during these last four months both with the crap food and no exercise regime :D. Thirdly i did not read as much as i would i have liked to. With so much books around me in library stacks i wish i had 48 hours a day and i could go through all the books on paris, rome etc ....But i guess life is not about what you did not do yesterday rather its about what you are gonna do tomorrow.

So as i say on my profile space on orkut i shall fight till the end. I look forward to the next two semesters where i have some extremely challenging courses lined up. Specially the one called Parallel Programming in Java, its being taken by Dr.Per Brinch Hansen and he is amongst the gods of the field. Internet Security by Dr.Du is gonna keep me busy for the summers and i am sure its gonna be one hell of a summer.

For the tech-savvy people, just before writing this post i ordered the Creative Stone
Its being called as Creative's answer to Apples's Ipod Shuffle(80$), and at a mere 40 bucks(30 for me,courtsey google checkout) i think its gonna be one good answer. With features being the same on both the devices the only difference between them is size and weight where the shuffle outshines by some margins though for the price difference they are easily ignorable.
For all those who are wondering what am i gonna listen to on my new player, yours truly just got his hands onto 13GB pure gold. Yes its nothing less than less than gold when it comes straight from theeeee master's heart MOZART .Its all compositions from mozart clubbed into one collection unless he created some secret ones which seems a high probability to me giving credit to the love of medieval Renaissance-age Europeans for secrecy.

As i am without any internship or considerable hours at my work place so i decided to make the most of the luxury by reading more books from the library. I promised myself that i shall read at least half an hour each day a book that shall have no relevance to my grad school. This week's book is The collected short stories of Khushwant Singh. I don't mind if people wanna get judgmental on me with the book but i am really really liking it as i am going through it.

Thats it for now ...ciao

Shantanu

Thought for the day

Read this just now and i think its worth a mention ....

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

CAP_UNIX_PROGRAMMER

Hey all

Finally i got CAP_BLOG to write this entry. ;)( read this if u wanna understand the statement)
I am vey very tired today as i write this post but more importantly i am very happy as well for being so tired. Finally i am done with my project Combined Capabiltiy and RBAC.

The project was one of the best experiences(i m bluffing it was my first so ;) ) i have had all my life with regards to system programming in C. The project involved implementing RBAC on minix3 operating system. It took us more than a month to build this system, starting from design to implementation to fixing bugs, facing system crashes, machine hang and what not. We must have seen the term kernel panic and fs died for many times during this one month. And each time we saw it sent shivers down my and my partner's spine for we had lost considerable amount of work we had done in probably the last 4-5 hours or maybe even a day.

Though not complete and perfect in its truest sense we are proud to have got this far as well. We were done with 85% of the requirements before we went for the demo today afternoon. I became very nervous during the demo as the stakes were big bcoz dr.du gives huge importance to the salesmanship u put in ur presentation during the demo and being my first demo in grad school i knew i was going to suck at that part and i did. My fingers were trembling when i was writing on the keyboard, even did a lot of typos during the demo. We have a weeks time to complete the rest of the 15% but i don think with OOD final project lined up i can get back to RBAC in the next week or so. So i guess i shall have to be content with 85% though i certainly dont want to be and i regret that m forced into such a decision.

Ohh just now Dr.Fawcett has revoked CAP_BLOG from me :( so i guess i wont be blogging again for quite some days. At least till 8th may.

c ya all then

P.S. Finally i have decided that i qualify to be called as a unix programmer.
Vote of Thanks to Dr.Du,Karthick,Nishesh,Ravi,Gagan,Varun.


Shantanu

My File Type

Which File Extension are You?

Tub Full of Hot Water and a Bacardi bottle in your hands --Nothing beats it

Jus got out of the shower and i can say with confidence that it was the best bath i ever had. I had wanted to do this for quite some time and today i got the opportunity and the time and of course the enthusiasm and patience to wait for 15 minutes in my towel for the tub to get filled.

I was trying all the time to float in that hot water but as expected never succeeded. At one point i also felt the desire to have some toys in there and play with them like an aqua-man(yeah m still a boy).

Halfway through it i felt kinda thirsty and that was the best part because as i was getting into the towel it struck me that why not bacardi instead of plain old H2O. And i am glad i got that bottle as it was the best experience ever.

The bath left me so relaxed after so many days of stress(stress part isnt over,have 2 submissions ahead).

Everybody who has a tub in their bathroom should definitely try it out. I am sure it would be
one hell of an experience.

C ya soon,m going off for a long good night sleep.

Bacardi Boy

God please give me back college

C

Code
Coke
Chicken
Computer
Chocolate
Cocaine
Canon
Casio
CD
Cologne
Coffee

And someone said i don't "see" enough in life.